I’m sure most of you have heard about the World Air Guitar Championship, where fans of music, who can’t be arsed to learn how to play an instrument, prance around on stage like tw*ts, pretending to play one.

Well it the same sort of vein I bring you the Air Sex Championship; held annually in Austin, Texas, competitors get up on stage (usually in not much clothing) and stimulate their favourite sexual positions…solo. Men and women writhe around on stage it what can only can only be loosely termed as their favourite sexual position, to the applause of the horny audience.

Frankly I’ve looked at some of the pictures of some of the competitors and if they came at me with those moves I would think they were trying to buff out a dent in my body work or something. So it made me think; if people in the Air Guitar Championship play air instruments because they can’t be bothered to learn how to play a real one, then do people enter the Air Sex Championship, because they can’t be bothered (or aren’t given the chance because of their creepy air moves) to have real sex?

They really don’t know what they are missing. They should get off the stage and get into the bedroom with a real human being instead of humping the air…idiots. If you still want to look like a fool in the bedroom stick on some Gag Bottom Shorts; perfect for looking like a clown and can double up for a stag or fancy dress night.