Even after ten plus years as a sexually active heterosexual female, the male penis is still a bit of a mystery to me. As wonderful and necessary as they are, I have to admit I find them a tad weird, just stuck on there like they are. Still, even though (to me) I find a uncircumcised flaccid penis, looks a little bit like a nun in her habit, I still enjoy having them in the world (my boyfriends in particular…way to go buddy).

So I know very little about the human penis, apart from the fact it can be swung around in a rather hilarious manner like a helicopter blade, so I decided to educate myself. Thanks to the wonders of the internet and the wonderful people at the NHS, I found out 4 things about the penis that I think everyone (male, female or other) should know.

1.) THE PENIS IS NOT A MUSCLE: While we have all seen videos of men lifting paint cans with their manhood, but contrary to popular belief the penis is not actually a muscle. In fact it the ‘love muscle’ doesn’t contain any muscles at all, that’s why it is very difficult to move when erect. When a man gets a little bit excited blood flows to two cylinder chambers that causes the penis to swell and stiffen.

2.) PENIS LENGTH IS NOT RELATED TO FOOT SIZE: See a man with size 16 feet and you probably think no wonder he is walking with a limp. Well that limp is probably just the result of a poor muscle; according to a study published in the British Journal of Urology International there was no link between shoe size and penis length, in all age groups.

3.) THE PENIS IS BREAKABLE: I’m sure that statement has a lot of men grabbing their crown jewels in horror, but it’s true, even though there are no bones in the penis it can still be broken. If an erect penis is violently twisted the blood chambers can burst causing rapid and excruciating swelling. Intercourse with the woman on top is believed to cause a third of all causes, when the man slips out of his partner and his penis is violently bent. So be careful there cowgirls.

4.) SMALL PENISES MAKE BIG ERECTIONS: You might be having a cheeky giggle at that small penis now ladies, but it could be the penis that has the last laugh. A study published in the Journal of Sex found that men found that shorter penises increased by 86% when erect, nearly twice that of longer penises (47%).

So now you know all about the penis make sure during sex that you’re not silly and wrap up that willy. This seamlessly leads me seamlessly to ‘Condom of the Week’ and this week I have chosen Crown Colour Condoms; coming in a rainbow of colours to add a little bit of extra fun to those sexy times. They also feature a super smooth water-based lubricant, reservoir tip and provide super sensitivity and safety at a super cheap cost. You wont get them cheaper anywhere else.