You may remember me once telling you about a disasterous sexual encounter in which my partner at the time struggled with each and every aspect of condom application. In case you don’t remember, maybe you would appreciate a little reminder. He desperately tried to chew his way through the cellophane wrapper, spraying the condoms all over the floor, which he had to scramble to pick up. Then he flicked the condom into his own eye for it to land with a damp squib on my naked leg. By the time he could actually have but the condom on it would be like trying to stuff raw sausage meat into a Cadbury’s Fudge wrapper…it isn’t ever gonna stand stiffly on its own.

A lot of people claim that the act of putting a condom on breaks the mood, but getting unintentionally pregnant of catching an STD can ruin the mood for life. So I thought I would give you guys a little tutorial in how to put on a condom, hazard free:
• To start with make sure you are keeping your condoms in a cool, dry pace and make sure they are within the expiration date.

• Make sure the penis is erect because if it isn’t the rest is going to be a giant waste of time. Never use teeth or scissors to break the wrapper as there is a risk of breaking the condom.

• Hold the condom in one hand and the base of the penis with the other (you could get a ‘friend’ in to help at this point). Pull back any extra foreskin back and put the condom on the head of the penis, with the reservoir tip pointing upwards.

• Pinch the reservoir tip, unroll the condom all the way down the penis, and check no air is trapped inside the condom as it may cause it to break.

• If you are using lubrication with a condom, make sure you are using one that is compatible with the condom.

• Remove the mole from the hole immediately after ejaculation. Before withdrawing, grasp the bottom of the condom with your hand and withdraw while holding the penis. You don’t want to leave any men behind.

So now you know the correct way to put a condom on so this leads me nicely on to ‘Condom of the Week’. This week I have went for Pasante Delay Condoms; regular fit condoms and with a special lubricant to help delay orgasms enabling you to give that special someone the best 30 seconds of your life.