I’m sure at some point during your nocturnal activities, you have thought that was the best sex ever or I’m harder than anyone has ever been or even that was the longest orgasm ever. Well you could be right as we enter the wonderfully weird world of sex records. So the next time you get down to the nitty gritty maybe keep a stopwatch or a tape measure handy and see if you can beat some of these guys and gals. Although some of these records (it should be obvious which) I do not recommend you try at home.

1.) BIGGEST AND SMALLEST PENIS: Although size technically doesn’t matter, it doesn’t stop the curiosity about who is hung like a horse and who is hung like a wasp.
• BIGGEST: The biggest medically verified penis sets is a whopping 13.5 inches long and 6.25 inches wide, measured in the early 20th century by a Dr. Robert L. Dickenson (yes that is really his name). I hope his wife knew yoga.
• SMALLEST: The smallest penis ever recorded sets was measured at just 1cm long. There are some medical conditions that can result in a small penis. One example is where most of the penis actually resides inside the body, known as a micro-penis.

2.) EJACULATION RECORDS: All I can say is you might want to get out of the way of some of these guys and gals, or you might get hit with some friendly fire.
• FURTHEST: The furthest male ejaculation ever recorded was 18 feet and Horst Schultz and the farthest a woman was recorded to ejaculate was 10 feet.
• SEMEN SWALLOWED: I know it’s not the most pleasant thing to mention but I’m going to anyway. The most semen swallowed was Michelle Monahan of L.A., swallowed 1.7 pints of semen and had to get her stomach pumped. What did she do, go on a bender at a sperm bank?

3.) MOST SEXUAL PARTNERS IN ONE DAY: I don’t know where they get the energy or how they avoid the chafing.
• WOMAN: The woman to set the world record for most sexual partners in one day shagged an astonishing 620 men in 24 hours; that’s 26 and hour or one man every and a bit minutes (poor show on the staying power boys)
• MAN: Jon Dough, a male porn star, was supposed to have sex with 101 women in one day, but only managed to do 52; he did the others two weeks later.

4.) MOST PENIS REMOVALS: Some guys have a weird way of celebrating victory. In 1300 BC, King Menephta came home from battle after successfully beating the Libyans and to celebrate his big win, he asked his men to chop off the penises of each member of the defeated army. He arrived home with 13,000 penises.

So anyway, if you fancy going for some records of your own, we have plenty of products here at Funky Condom, be it condoms, lubrications or toys, to help you be a record breaker.