Are you one of those annoying, sanctimonious people who need to have your five fruit and veg a day, and not only that, you need to preach the virtues of it to anyone that will listen? If you are, I’m telling you now…stop! I no longer want to hear how eating a couple of bananas a day keep you nice and regular, of the virtues of cranberries on your reproductive system, because I know something that feels better on the reproductive system than that. Was that a bit creepy? Bear with me. 

Enter the wonderful road of flavoured lubes Fruiter than the average fruit stall and a whole lot sweeter (nudge, nudge; wink, wink). With names like cherry burst,
tangerine dream and dickalicious banana.

It’s got to be better than chomping your way through the fruit bowl, hasn’t it? Hell of a lot more fun too I would imagine.

“Well you can’t beat my peppermint tea; it’s great for my digestion” the food Nazi pipes up.

Well actually yes I can, with my peppermint posing pouch and some yummy after dinner nipples but no, you stick with your tea that tastes like an extra strong mint dipped in pond water. That shut them up!